A World Under The Sun

过个特别的龙年

2012-01-31T02:24:00.003+08:00

现在已踏入年初九的凌晨 2.26，我还没睡因为鞭炮烟花声刚刚才平息下来。hokkien lang 都在拜天宫，整条街突然间热闹了起来。我家是广东籍的，所以只站在门前看邻居们放炮。

年除夕晚，在门前准备拜祭的摆设

就这么简单罢了~ （没接财神嘛）

说起这次的新年啊，在回家的路途中，突然有所感触- 我也是游子呢！以前小学中学写作时，常常都会描述起游子纷纷回家过年，想不到这样的情景竟然会发生在我身上。哈哈！感觉其实还不错，因为你会很期待从巴士踏下，看见你最熟悉的脸孔-爸妈的那一刻。这一次回家过年，虽然说是除夕前两天，而且又是星期五，可是路途挺顺畅的。怎知到达总站时却下起倾盆大雨。还好有雨伞，但还是在提行李时变了半个落汤鸡。回家路上，若要形容的话，除了塞车，还是塞车。过年佳节，大家都出来吉隆坡市区办年货，加上下雨，你若是外地人，就无法想像这种塞车的情景。哎，结果，本来只需二十分钟到家的车程，却变成了两个钟。

除夕夜晚，我们都在爷爷家吃团圆饭。姑姑，叔叔还有堂表兄妹们都到齐。虽然没有所谓的山珍海味，不过，我们吃的好开心，相处得乐融融! 吃完饭，还有欢乐时光－SAI LANG 啦！意思就是 sapu semua duit！小型赌场就开始咯！！！这游戏有些人称它为 'in between', 玩法呢，就是每个人指定好要掏出一个数目（比如说五十仙）放在桌子中间成为'pool money'，然后每人会获得两张牌，之后你就得博第三张牌的号码是不是落在你前两张牌的之间。若是，你就可以赢得你说下的赌注，若不是，就得赔咯！虽然我们只玩五十仙，但是我却有本事在一小时内输了三十块，而且接下来的那几天也就十块十块的输掉了。真没运！

连爷爷都插进来赌一赌 >.

对我来说，这一次过年是最有意思了！比起以前到处去朋友家拜年，今年有些不同，因为我的全部时间都在家人的陪伴下渡过，具有别有一番的意义。加上还有一晚我们连同爷爷婆婆14 个人一起去看‘阿炳心想事成’，的确很开心! 玩牌输钱也笑得合不拢嘴！我所感受到浓浓的温馨，也是我最最最感激的！

2012-01-09T03:26:00.002+08:00

夜深人静，寂寞的夜晚，我自个儿在这温书。
思绪缭乱，烦恼扑通扑通地跳进来。
怨，只能怨为什么这世界上有小人。

讨厌他们给我家弄得一大堆烦恼。
《〈两只大象打架，受伤的是小草〉》

绕来绕去，问题就是解决不完。
到头来很烦很烦很很烦！

新年快到了，
我要的快乐呢？

因为我不知道。。
明天我是吃饭还是得改吃草了。

2012-01-02T16:01:00.004+08:00

Memoirs of examinationSsss!

- Authorities never fail to make students to sit for exams in their school, college or university life-

and that's what I'm currently undergoing now.

With 6 papers lining up, I'm gonna mark an end to semester 5 after I complete all of them and go home for CNY celebration!

Trolled~!

2011-12-28T15:41:00.002+08:00

Somehow I still miss the days I put on my uniform. Can't deny it looks smart and professional. But since I've decided to let it down for more important plans ahead, I will continue with what I should do in future and let bygones be bygones. At least, I know I've learnt a lot of valuable skills and knowledge in the past 7 years. Deep in my heart, I am, still a first-aider.

2011-12-23T22:38:00.002+08:00

I got 1 week plus holiday! It's the study week holiday.. but I've decided to head back home and get some serious rest because I am seriously tired!
This semester is a craze to all of us, as we are all busy from the beginning till the end, all just to make this happen - the Bioprocess Carnival 'BioPTown 2.4'!
Yes, it is pretty stressful because I am in-charge of 2 different things at once. The protocol department and Haunted House coordinator as well. What makes it more pressure is I have the whole protocol department thingy on my shoulder although all the things should be shared by 2 persons, but what can you do when your partner does nothing or whatever she does, you have to redo it over again?
I admit that it's for the first time I can't bear such high stress condition and finally burst out in tears in the midnight. Fuih, but luckily every hardwork pays off! The launching ceremony goes well and smoothly. I got help from other department. I am very thankful to all of them who have given me support all the way :D
I also enjoy to be part of the Haunted House committees! The best part of it is to be able to scare those customers off when they start screaming! ngek ngek ngek! And certainly what pleases us is the outcome of Haunted House. We have spent around rm200 for the modal and we earn Rm2000+! A ten fold income! Unbelievable. Very unbelievable. Apart from that, the relationship between 3rd year and our second year and 1st year juniors increases so much, that we now share laughter together :)

Back at home, the biggest feeling is the warmth I receive from my parents. I get reliefs of pressures from assignments, lab reports and tests! Again, it's winter solstice! I get to eat tang yuan made by mummy! Heart melting moments :)
Only if sister is back to celebrate this moment with us, then it'll be so perfect!
But after all, I'm hibernating at home. I sleep more than 12 hours per day! So I guess, next week only I'll start my revisions, OK?

2011-12-13T03:50:00.000+08:00

I'm overwhelmed with stress and i can't handle them. It feels like a mountain on my shoulder. I'm very tired but i can't get into sleep. Blog, why am i crying?

2011-12-06T21:10:00.002+08:00

看了那一封短信，眼泪不停使唤地留下。我好怕，我很担心。。。原来事情到头来还没抵达终点。我该怎么办？

2011-12-05T01:46:00.002+08:00

终于让我看了不少人性的丑恶，人类的自私。每个人都想从别人身上得到好处，自己却认为别人会帮他的忙是因为那人笨。很多时候请你们不要觉得别人做事不公平，先看看自己到底曾经付出多少。你想到的利益，别人也会。不要以为帮你是理所当然，别人协助你是因为他们仁慈，不帮你也是他们的权利。回去好好思考吧！只为自己思考的人，别再沉溺于你那肤浅的思维啦！

p/s: 从来从来，只有家人才不会利用你。这才是世界上最为美的地方。

2011-11-29T10:35:00.000+08:00

我的存在，在你们的眼中只有被利用的价值吗？原来我是那么的无知…

2011-11-28T16:32:00.003+08:00

Saw a lot of posts filled with madness on facebook. Everyone was frustrated. Yeah me too. I think I shall put it to an end now. I gotta release myself from anger. I shall be more in control of my emotions.

2011-11-28T02:57:00.003+08:00

some people are just unpredictable. all I can say is, you, the people with power, you win! nei hou yeh, nei zui lek. thank you goodnight!

2011-11-27T01:58:00.008+08:00

Just another random update: I've been very very busy lately, as we're going to hold a carnival in less than one month time, there's pretty much work to do. Plus, we do not have transport to go anywhere, so we spend more time doing things which require not-that-long time. I'm really stressed out. We not only need to monitor the carnival's progress, but we have tons of assignments, lab reports and presentations going on at the same time. Woooah barely breathable!

And there's one thing I would like to share before I end this post today:

Yes! It's my ranking in the Penang Bridge International Marathon!!! I know 900+ is kinda not-so-glamorous but I'm still proud of it! I'm a 21km finisher!

The longest Marathon in my life!

2011-11-20T17:29:00.010+08:00

My newest achievements! 20.11.2011, the day I joined Penang Bridge International Marathon (Women Half Marathon, 21km).

I was pretty worried at first, as I had not practise a lot on jogging, and 21km is really too long a distance, which I'm not physically prepared for it. Wow, I was excited when I reached the starting point at 2am today, and my race will begin at 3.15am! We wore pink singlet, sponsored by New Balance, and here's my running bib:

see, my name was printed on it!

this is me! all prepared for the race :D

Amy, Me, and Leng! We're so energetic!

As the countdown hit 3, 2 and 1, all the ladies run! Along with it, there was lion dance accompanied by drum performance! Energetic! I jogged for about 1km and then I was out of breath and started walking. Surprisingly, it was not too cold to jog in the morning with singlet, but the wind was quite strong on the bridge. As I reach almost the supporting structure of the bridge, I thought, owh, I must have reached quite far.. who knows, the sign board turned up: Half Marathon (5km). What?? I've just walked for 5km only? OMG!
Then I continued and along the road, there were water stations, you can get water, isotonic drinks or sometimes sponges to wash your face. The U-turn for half marathon on the penang bridge was located quite far from the triangle structural support, which was out of my expectation. As I walked, I could feel pain accumulating in my legs. First with pelvis, then stretched to my thigh and calf. The pain was so intense that I would have stop my journey. But I insisted to continue non-stop and I really made it to the finishing line. This had proven to me, 'the mind controls the body' and what actually had moved me was the music I saved in my phone. The last 6km was very torturing, and it forever seemed like never-ending. Argh!
In the end, I spent 4 hours to complete the run. Hooray!

The medal I got at the finishing line (Real heavy, made from pewter).

Till then, I still couldn't believe I've actually made it through the distance. However, this would be the furthest I can go. Trust me, I will never go for Full Marathon which was 42km! I came back to room after breakfast, bathed and slept. But I was awaken by the intense pain on my legs and I could hardly walk...... :(
Pain Killer!!!!! analgesic! Save me pls! I still have class tmr...............

Leng, Edwin, Amy, Sebastian and I!

Penang Bridge International Marathon, Dare to take the challenge? 21km, make it your record today!

2011-11-19T19:46:00.003+08:00

One of my cats just died beside the road yesterday, and he was knocked down by a car..
It was really sad to hear this. I pray for you LION, rest in peace. :'(

Lion, a very handsome boy..

2011-11-08T18:48:00.003+08:00

I am on cloud nine! Hope good news are coming our ways~

2011-11-05T01:30:00.003+08:00

Last Sunday, was 30th October 2011, and this day had its meaning in my heart because it marked the 3rd year my grandmother had left us. I still miss you lots po po. You were the most wonderful grandma I've ever had!

One important thing to blog about today is someone 'close' to me --- ROOMMATE.
I knew her since secondary school but I just 'KNOW' her, meaning, I am aware of the existence of such person, and that's it. We are not close at all. Staying together reveals much of her habits to me but at the same time, terror is building up in me. Sometimes, I think this 'wall' that I build is not thick enough. Yea, she's just so caring, and everything I do, she puts in mind. She knows my timetable very well, and one day my class was canceled but she woke me up.. >.< ok, I don't blame her, 不知者不罪. I am quite a person who rejects sharing of food with people I'm not very familiar with. She went to tesco, bought some bread and cake, as she thought that we could eat together before going to class every morning. Then again, I was on the phone sometimes, or talking to my sister in the room, she will listen and then ask me later. Haiz. I really hate people invading my privacy. I tend to get close with people very slowly. The kind of warmth you showed to me had actually freaked me out and made me un-breathable. She will find a chance to talk to me, even when I am watching drama with my headphones on. I really want to be alone, I couldn't understand, why she had to bother me? According to her coursemates, she will talk to people when she had finished studying, and this is so true. Hello boss, I got things to do OKAY! Talking bout studying, Woow, I had to salute her. I never see a person, who keeps studying from the moment she wakes up till the time she goes to bed. She seldom takes a break, and she studies, as if tomorrow she has exam. She does this everyday, including weekends. HAHAHA. She asked me, will she be able to influence me to study harder like her? I wonder... I will die if I just try it for 1 day. I had one assignment which required us to make a model of bioreactor, I brought that model back to room, and she would walk over to my place to ask me details about them. Another thing she likes to ask is, when will I go home, what time of bus I'll take, and when will I come back. And she, will inform me each time she had bought the ticket. More accurate than an alarm clock! Just like yesterday, I told her that I will go home but I didn't inform about the time and she will sms me asking whether I had reach home or not. And today, she sms again to inform me she had reached home in how many hours and also what time and what kind of bus she had bought to go back to penang. I've already tried to be as cool as possible but she wants to be closer with me, and she treats me like her very very good friend. AIKS! This issue had got me nightmares when I sleep and always I woke up feeling the remnants of terror for some moment. I don't know how to manage this kind of relationship. Please guide me :(

BEH TAHAN LAR!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-10-28T16:18:00.002+08:00

i'M HOME FOR NOTHING BUT TO GET SICK! ARGHH!!!

2011-10-23T03:03:00.003+08:00

Of all the recent years I've trudged through, I left footprints, but the most important things that I've learnt were 'to care' and 'to concern'..

Take a little time everyday, think of those whom matter to you the most, and you'll know what you really want to do -- Spend your time with them :)

2011-10-20T21:10:00.004+08:00

I always remind myself, if tomorrow's the end of the world, I'll use my time to accompany people who matters the most to me until my final last breath.

2011-10-18T20:14:00.002+08:00

hate google+ , and thanks to it, all the pictures inside my bloggy arena had been deleted. every piece of memory 5 years ago was diminished in seconds. well done!

2011-10-11T00:18:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, while browsing through the web, I came a cross a website which described the characteristics of a left-brain persons and the right-brain ones.

A left-brain person tends to be analytical, logical and sequential.

They tend to do well in reading, writing, speech and math.

Left brains tend to choose careers in law, accounting and science.

Lefts are skeptical of anything new. It can be a new invention, work schedule, or a new appliance. They resist anything new and untried. They defend the familiar and ordinary.

Yes, I am very much of a left-brain person. I'm taking science and the most important point is that, I resist anything new or changes. I was born to be like this I guess.. I hate changes because it takes me a long time to adapt to the new environment again. For instance, leaving home to study in Penang, takes me approximately 2 years to really get used to it. I am very comfortable once I'm in this well-suited condition. And this gives me the personality of not very well-mixed with new found friends or people.

I tend to get afraid when I have to approach someone whom I don't know. Even to speak through phone and make some enquiries to people I do not know, I start to feel uneasy. The same thing happens when I want to call for a waiter and etc. It's a natural reaction. My mom always complaints that I'm a coward.. but.. this is the phobia that I'm facing, psychologically and mentally.

Today, I saw the grouping of an assignment project. I was assigned to a group which I know none of the other four. I was not accompanied by any of my coursemates. I felt so lonely suddenly. I cannot ask for a change and I know I would not if I can. This will be a new challenge to me starting today. I have to learn to be independent although I'm not ready. I also need to overcome the extra pressures that are pressing against my shoulders, which for some moment, I ask myself :' should I give up?'

I always thought that I can overcome this phobia but after all what I did was just to push the phobia behind the shield and pretend to be I'm OK. In reality, the actual feeling remains, only that I choose not to face it.

2011-10-04T22:51:00.006+08:00

It's really sad to see that your parents are forced to end their business by the heartless, unreasonable authority. Now it's even sadder to hear that they have to attend job interview to seek job that can support the living of a family, my own family at this age. Daddy and mummy are already near to retirement.. what a heartache to witness all this. I personally went through the hard times with them when we did not have workers, and even last week when I got home, the authority already cut off electricity supply to our shop, and others as well who refused to pay the rental.

We have to close the shop in dark, washing utensils and floor with just a lit of candle. And yesterday, I just knew that they even cut off water supply. Yeah, that really marks an end to our shop, which had operated for 7 years, of blood, sweat and tears. The place which gave me a comfortable life until today and everything is going to turn back to zero. No, I'm not giving up. I'll continue to support them. Being a part of the family means helping each other without any conditions. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going, I believe we're the tough ones! Promise to myself, not to shed a tear, even there are, roll them backwards. Get a smile and everything's gonna be alright.

2011-09-30T17:07:00.003+08:00

我活在很多很多的回忆里，

回想回想，也打从心里笑了出来，

嗯。。现在的一切将会是我未来的回忆。

2011-09-29T22:50:00.002+08:00

Finally i'm heading home tomorrow.

Happieee!!!

For 3 weeks I've been struggling deep inside, forcing myself not to think of home.

The more I don't wanna think, the more I miss them :(

Even 1 day didn't hear my parents' voice I'm gonna get crazy!

Wooo go for a home sweet home journey heyo!

** psst! shhhh.. have some silence. Let's share some secrets. Something has been going on wrongly these few days. The weird attitude came back... whatever it is, I can only conclude : Birds of the same feather flock together. Get your brain to work on it :P

2011-09-27T23:55:00.003+08:00

家家有本难念的经...

I should describe the current situation in my family as Crisis, but no others can understand except me. And who will give a damn to you?

hell.. I really miss home now!

*sorry this post sounds kinda harsh but with them only the real feeling reveals. Don't get offended.

2011-09-24T15:05:00.005+08:00

请不要对我那么热情，我会受宠若惊的....
唉，她真难搞！
很烦咯！！！

2011-09-18T12:03:00.002+08:00

I did not intend to wake up before 12pm today actually.. but.. a dream frightens me.
In that dream, a snake bit me painfully while I was trying to protect my cats. But the scene suddenly changed to a gigantic snake living in a big cage waiting to be fed. And I saw my mother running a small business just right in front of that cage. I was terrified, really really frightened, when it gulped in a human and then I was awake.

The terror still stays with me even when I'm writing this. I believe dreams are always related to our daily lives or subconscious mind, so I searched for dream definition, and here's what I got:

If you have encountered any threat from any animal in your dream then this is an indication that you find it difficult to cope with your subconscious mind. You may find in life everything is content and happy but underneath there are some things that are concerning you. If the snake is frightening you in any way then this dream relates to trying to overcome a difficult problem or a troublesome person.

True... It matches exactly what I was facing now. I wanted a relief, I forced myself not to think about it, but in reality, your subconscious mind will not allow you to do this. Hmm... how long should I suffer this bad dream?

2011-09-16T13:29:00.004+08:00

Of all the laughters I had, I did not get the real happiness, my heart was feeling cold.

2011-09-14T22:52:00.005+08:00

Overwhelmed with anxieties,
and stress drains all over me,
I could barely sleep last night.

2011-09-14T00:04:00.002+08:00

Oh, semester starts again..
That's the real life. Human are always living in contradictions, what do I mean is, when we are given 4 months of long holiday, we begin to complaint that it would be boring and start to miss the times in university, but when it is almost the end of the semester break, many of us grumble, hoping that the holiday can be longer. I too, come into this category and I'm sure many of you out there are.
I know I've grown up, more mature. Let me emphasize again, I'm MORE MATURE!!!
I'm in my third year already, and I didn't cry anymore in the beginning of the semester due to homesick. I think I really gotta congratulate myself since I've been crying a lot the past 2 years when each semester starts. I know it's embarrassing, but this is me, I can't hate myself though..
Well, before getting back to uni, I had worked in my parents shop as they fired all their illegal Indonesian workers. It was really tiring. You know, you had to do things like preparing food, serving and cleaning, washing dishes, just EVERYTHING. I got my backbone hurts after carrying the gas tanks everyday. Oh god, and I'm suffering it now and the pain even got to my pelvis.. will it be chronic? I hope not.
The first week in uni is often filled with canceled classes. We only have morning class on Thursday, and then it's all free throughout Friday and the weekend. I thought, I want to go home.
Bad things have been happening at home recently. I do not know how to unleash my worries. Worrying of my parents, being this old and still have to operate the shop alone, it's definitely an 'Impossible' to me, but they told us they will try. You know? Parents will work no matter how difficult it's gonna be in order to earn a living for the family. They love us, I know. Then dad underwent an operation on eye the other day and he could not work for a week. There's barely income now.. and output remains like usual, hard time! Yesterday I called home and got to know that a woman who self-claimed herself as the legal authority of shop came to ask for rental without any sufficient proof, and she brought along TNB to cut off the electricity, claiming that she already had the court order to do so. Ending up, the whole row of shops had no electricity now. Business can't be run. Police were there too, and all the tenants cannot utter any objections, otherwise they would be brought back to police station too. This case is complicated. Now the tenants, including my parents are worried that this renter will take away their properties. Complicating, sigh..
I'm worry but there's nothing I can do to lighten the burden of my family. I wanted to go home but going home means spending unnecessary money on transportation, and what else can I help even I got back? I do wish, everything will end soon but for the meantime, can I unleash my worries?

2011-08-21T00:33:00.003+08:00

And yes, I'm back again after 5 days off to Bangkok and Pattaya.
Well, I actually spent my one whole month salary and even had to dig out own pocket money.
Bought a lot of polo-tees and some other stuffs, not that satisfying, but overall it was OK. Haha.
I watched ALCAZAR agua show, and wow it was pretty amazing! It worth the money, 700 Baht. Words couldn't speak how good it was, so you gotta see it yourself :)
Then I also went to see 'tiger' show the other night (700 baht too), and to me, it was a bit of disgusting, having to see girls naked and a guy too. What did they do? Uh Huh Uh Huh, you guess larrrr. But one thing to mention, those girls were really trained to do such stunts where ordinary people like us couldn't imagine. How did they do that? I don't know.......... speechless. yah.
First time to be on the plane with monitor on each seat, COOL! I watched movie, I listened to songs, I enjoyed the in-flight meal and I enjoyed their pillow! HAHA. Luftansa airline, boleh tahan juga!
Through this trip, I gained a lot of eyes-opening experiences, and I knew more things, which gave me a stop to think before making any decision. Society and people around you ain't as easy as you thought they were. I would definitely, make use of this opportunity and see how shall I proceed.

Opps, I forgot photos did I? lazy lorr.. next post la.

Experiencing MOVIE!

2011-08-05T16:26:00.003+08:00

Woahhh woah woah, can't even believe that I was actually involved in a movie! 4th of August, I woke up at 4.50am and prepared myself to go to Taylor's Lakeside campus for Jack Neo's new movie shooting :)

Excited man! Breakfast was prepared for us, American style, while we were eating, JENG JENG JENG JENG!! Jack Neo appeared! Followed by Joshua, Shawn and Ashley. TAHhaaa happy lo me~~

After some moments waiting in the cafeteria, we were all asked to standby and seats were assigned to us. We'll be acting as background of the scene taken in cafeteria. All they asked from us was to pretend that we were talking to the people beside us but MOST IMPORTANTLY without sound.............. and just one scene took about 4 hours because many shots from different angle were taken. While each angle changed, the crew had to shift the lighting, tables and other stuffs just to make sure that the shot was clear and nice.

Then, it was 1pm, LUNCH! We ate da-bao nasi... After some rest, we were brought to a computer lab and we changed into a new set of own-bring clothes for the next scene. This was the classroom scene, I thought... I thought we were going to finish by 6pm or 7pm, but ended up we finished work at 11pm..................... and yet the scene was not done yet. Therefore we were asked to go back the next day to continue. WOW. I totally stayed there for 17 hours just for 2 scenes! Oh mann.. The second day took me 8 hours, and finally the second scene had completed.

I totally salute the crew. Though I just sat there most of the time, pretending as a student, but I came home feeling exhausted, and the bones were half cracking! They worked a lot more than me, carrying heavy stuffs like lights and camera, but they could still look perfectly fresh. Jack Neo was truly a good director, and he could act as he said.. Fantastic actor and director. I was not just amazed, but impressed deeply, and I respect this man! How sad I didn't take a single photo with him larr :(

Luckily I did took some photos with other actor/actress, and here they are:

With Shawn Lee :D

Natalli, she's really pretty!

I was Drunk.. ... ....

2011-07-31T20:31:00.010+08:00

For the past 2 consecutive Saturdays, the whole family attended my cousin's wedding whereby one was in Ipoh and the other was in Kuantan, as Ipoh was my cousin's hometown while Kuantan was my sister-in-law's. This was again, another christian's marriage I had attended since the one in last year.

If I were to talk about both the dinner and wedding march together, there'll be a whole long story to tell...... so to the main point, I was drunk.
I was really drunk, for the very first time, which I myself had never expected such incident to happen. I only had 1 and a half glasses of beer, and my aunt gave me some whiskey which I just took 2 sips for a try..

When we were about to leave, I was standing beside my father, and my vision was a bit blur. Grabbing on his shoulder, I said "daddy, I can't see things', and the next moment, I had a blackout. I knew I was sitting on a chair when I came back to senses, the blackout only happen for 1 minute or lesser, and then I felt normal, my mind was clear after I throw out some water. My father, grandfather and aunt keep rubbing eucalyptus oil on my forehead, which some went into my eyes later, OUCH!

It must had be the whiskey's fault because I never had any problem with beer before. It was the first try and it ended up with chaos. Sigh! I wouldn't wanna try it anymore... My relatives said it was because of the different alcohol mixed up in my stomach.. Arrrr!!! Totally embarrassed!!!!!

The decorations in the church

The newly wed..

Me dressed up for wedding dinner! The one on the left was in Ipoh while on the right was in Kuantan :)

2011-07-18T21:55:00.002+08:00

You can wipe away the raindrops on your car with a wiper..

But you cannot wipe away the tears in your heart.

When it's hurt,

it HURTS.

2011-07-17T01:21:00.009+08:00

sometimes sacrifices had to be made even how you'd loved it
but we still,

live on.

Changes

2011-07-16T00:56:00.002+08:00

Oh Owkay, finally I had resigned for more than a week, but I got back to a busier life than I ever had, worse than those days when I was in office. My mum fired all her workers, firstly because they're acting too over, or what we say LSLY in cantonese, as if the shop cannot live without them. Secondly, the Operasi to arrest the workers without permit is coming soon, we can't bear the consequences of getting caught. Thirdly, those workers steal things from the shop, even it's just plates! So in the end, my sis and I had to replace them and work in the shop for 8 hours... with really really low pay. How can I ask more from my own parents? Nooohhh.

It's really really tiring because there were really many things to do! Now I even have to wash the plates and bowls which I feel disgusting, but I have Hobson's choice. It's family business, it's my family income source. So, it goes like this, when we feel we're too tired to work, we close shop. Dad went to hospital yesterday because of great pain in his backbone, I don't know how should I call in English, but he has 骨刺 according to the doctor, and he cannot carry heavy things anymore, or else he might be half paralysed. :(
The shop's contract is also a problem, where this man claim to be the owner and ask us to pay the rent, that woman came and claim to be the owner as well. Some unreasonable man even bring some gangsters over to talk, and threatened to let us 'sleep' if we do not pay the rent asap. In the end, we lodged a police report, and the guy was caught the next day. HAHA.

So many things happen at the same time, no worker, contract problem, health problem... I guess my parents are thinking to end this business and start a smaller one in some coffee shop, sell lesser things and make life easier. That's the only way.

Hm! I hope situation will get better. From now onwards gotta spend lesser and save money in case of emergency. I'm POOR man!!!!!!!

2011-06-25T18:48:00.002+08:00

I don't know why we should care for you, since you never have the heart for us.
I can't find a reason why should I treat you like my very good friend,
sorry, you lost it yourself.

I'm very angry with your attitude, definitely!

2011-06-24T23:55:00.008+08:00

讨厌死在 office 上班，下个月尾我拿了钱就快快跑人！
还有受了委屈冤气没得诉，回家不想对家人说，昨天心情超差！！！

幸好我选择了读实验室有关的，现在不后悔！

我早该回hilton做工嘛！至少我做得开心，喜欢！

拿了薪水想好好花，该怎样呢？我该冥想。。。。。。。。。。

明日午餐：麦叔叔！

P/S: your stubbornness ruined my birthday this year, i was not happy and we were all not. it was the worst one that I had! why can't you just let go of your sadness and forget your past. move on, we all did, so should you.

Working life?? Admin assistant!

2011-06-17T22:50:00.004+08:00

emhmm! it's friday! I like it.................so muuuccccccch~!
I guess, that's what all the other working people look for everyday :)
I've been working for 10 days already! Money money money~~
I thought it was easy to be just a part time admin assistant. The truth was, it ain't kacang putih at all!!!
These few days, I had to learn to key in sales order, do invoice posting. I did it quite slow today on my own, because I was afraid to make any mistakes. I knew I was very careless. I could missed this and that. Sigh. Learning new software was not that easy, I think I can only handle it smoothly, at least after a few tries. Compare to my sis who work in at other department, mine was so much more work.
And specifically today, I can only go home at 5.30pm...while all the other colleagues had left :(
Even though like this, my work was left half undone... Ok, I'm gonna fasten my pace on Monday!
Sitting in office for 8 hours was boring!!! And you could only earn merely rm45 per day. All I think of is what I can do after work. And you know what makes me keep going??

It's my girl, O O! When I think of her, I continue to work faster, so that I can go back at 5pm and see her! She's a very wonderful companion, making my days happier! Ever since Dolly and Nunu left us, my house felt empty for half a year until she came to us. When she goes for vaccination, the doctor says she looks like a 6 months year old puppy, but she was exactly 4 months only. I think she needs to cut weight larrr....
O O is a super high IQ dog. Very smart and can read our minds, but she can be very cute at all times!! I hope I will have many of my future years with her :D

O O girl with her hair tied up. CUTE leh? :D

2011-06-06T21:34:00.003+08:00

Oh yay, the result for year 2 semester 2 was released in the morning!
I was anticipating the whole morning, couldn't concentrate well in my work.
Oh ya, today also marked the first day of me working as admin asst. in one big company.
I was waiting and waiting for the result via sms because the computer in my company did not allow us to log on to any other websites.
Finally, it was lunch and jeng jeng jeng jeng! I got it. CGP 3.79... it dropped compare to the previous semester. Haizz. But overall I'm satisfied!
Just one thing I am glad with is I finally push myself into first class! HAHAHA. daddy, mummy, shall we celebrate? HAHA.
So next sem i'm gonna work harder to maintain it, hope to keep this result and get a first class honour degree when I graduate.
Keep it up yo all USM-ers. Congrats to those who got what they want, and to those who are dissapointed, don't be upset, still have time to improve, all you need to do is S-T-R-I-V-E!!!!

2011-05-26T00:24:00.002+08:00

It was probably the worst birthday that I ever had. :(
The day filled with sorrow and worries...
And I actually did not have a good sleep.. worrying.
Hope that things will change.
It's in the hands, to make choices for differences.

一个温馨释怀

2011-05-16T02:58:00.004+08:00

终于的终于，一切都浮出水面了。
在笑声中，突然有一句话扰乱了情绪。
她终于肯和爸妈坦白了。
承受不了种种压力，我想，她应该面临崩溃境界吧。
问了妈一句话，眼泪便哗啦啦的往下流。。
那一句话是：“妈，你可以给我一个拥抱吗？”
然后便抱着妈妈一直哭，一直哭。
我在一旁听着，泪水也充满了眼眶。
解释了一切，爸妈并没有责怪她，还不断的给予鼓励。
啊！这就是家人的力量！
世界上，只有家人能包容一切，也只有他们会给予无私的爱。
很伟大呀！
她应该会努力地站起来。要知道，这是一个教训，不是一个过失。
没有事情是解决不了的，只是困难。
但，只要我们稍微看开点，一切也会变得很美好的。
至少这次让你看见父母是多么地疼爱你了吧，尤其是妈妈！
加油加油！

p/s:
1. 羡慕呢。。我这么大了还没抱过妈妈。。
2. 我要再继续找工作，因为有太多东西想要买了！啊啊啊！

Redang 3 Days 2 Nights Ex. Penang

2011-05-12T01:43:00.012+08:00

YOOhoo~~~
dang.. dang.. dang.. REDANG! Finally, finally, dream came true! I went to Redang for a post-exam break before my long long semester holiday starts. Just four of us, 3 girls and 1 guy.. We took a bus from Sg. Nibong bus station to MPKT which is the Kuala Terengganu bus terminal, with bus company named S.P Bumi, 3 seated and it costs RM46 from Penang to KT. The bus departed at 8.30pm but we actually started our journey around 10pm because the bus went to Butterworth and Sg. Petani to take some other passengers. All the roads to Terengganu was bumpy and winding but the driver still drove in super fast speed, ended up all the luggage in the overhead compartment fell off. Most serious was, those bags were all laptop bags.. Amy got hit by something unknown and her forehead was swollen. Instead of 5.30am, we reached MPKT at 4.50am. Haunted with hunger, 4 of us went to 7-eleven to grab some instant noodles. Then we waited for the bus to take us to jetty in the resort's office nearby.

Upon reaching the jetty, we were told to pay for marine park conservation fees for RM5 per pax. The tickets look nice though with fine printing. Then, we were brought to the redang island with a speed boat which took approximately 30 mins. We were in exhilaration when we see the crystal clear sea water was shimmering and sparkling under the scorching bright sun. It was only 10am by the time we checked into our room. The package that we took was standard room quad sharing and it costs only RM340 per pax from Redang Pelangi Resort. We had 1 snorkeling trip on the first day and 2 snorkeling trips on the second day.

On the first day, the snorkeling took place at Pulau Paku Besar. The island was situated opposite our resort's beach but still, you need to go there with a boat. However, you need to rent a life jacket and snorkeling mask for RM10 each which can be used during the duration of stay. If you want to capture some underwater photos, you can rent an underwater camera, starting from the lowest price RM30 for 40 photos, RM40 for 80 photos and RM50 for 150 photos. Upon reaching, I was so anticipated to see what was inside the sea, and like some other guests, I jumped into the water without hesitating. Fuih~ I was not scared at all man! And the moment I open my eyes, I was stunned, WOW.. I thought I was dreaming. It was really so nice, as if you were in an aquarium with beautiful colourful fish and corals :) But actually, there was a stair for you to climb down the boat, and haha! I got to know it after the jump . oopsy. The snorkeling took about 1 to 1 1/2 hours and we had some tea back in the resort. Then we played board game like congkak and also beach volleyball before we headed to the sea on our own for more fun!!! In the end, we walked back to the resort with body covered in sands. Thanks to dear amy, candy and wan!!! They grab the sand and pour it on my head >.< At night, we dressed up nicely, took our dinner and had a leisure walk around the beach, visiting the other resorts one by one and took a glance at the souvenir shop- More More Tea Inn. I had a terror night because when I was in the room flipping the blanket, I saw a giant spider crawling and that creature really freak me out! Unfortunately, the rest of them ignored me!! So sad......sobzzz.

We woke up at 7.30am the next day, had our breakfast and prepared for the second snorkeling at marine park. Compared to 10 years ago, more of the corals were dead now, but we still enjoyed a lot because we went there in small group and the snorkeling guide had the chance to bring us to see the eel and we saw three!!! I even caught an eye on the giant 石斑! He also helped us to take some underwater photos where we pull a rope and dive downwards. My ears hurt when I was down there! And I guessed that was the reason I heard buzzing sound and feel like whole body floating around for a week.

The last snorkeling was at 2pm and this time we went to Pulau Lima. You can see this island from the resort but it was further away compare to Pulau Paku Besar. The underwater scene here was nicer and we snorkel for about 2 hours. After some refreshments, the snorkel guide who promised to bring us to see baby sharks asked us to follow him to the nearby beach. He guided four of us quietly and we actually saw 4 baby sharks! So excited! Then, we followed him to the open sea, and along the way, we passed by some really amazing underwater scene which looked just like what was described in the movie 'NEMO'. Totally enthralling! On the same night, we had BBQ dinner, also arranged by the resort. Just to try luck, around 11pm, we took a walk by the beach to see if we could see blue sands. When we were about to give up, out of the blue, we saw one! The only one!!! The sand will glow in really nice blue colour and fade away and then glow again, just like firefly! It was actually sea plankton :D Happy ar! I was satisfied!

On the third day, we checked out around 8am and the boat fetched us back to Merang jetty at 9am. We took the 1pm bus, transnational double decker (skyview) back to Hentian Putra, KL. We were exhausted and slept all the way. The journey was about 7 hours and we had our dinner in Kenny Roger Roasters in The Mall shopping complex. It will be the last night 4 of us be together for this semester. After the dinner, my parents sent them to the nearby KTM station so that they could go to LCCT. As we were saying goodbye, they surprised me with a secret recipe cake! I was so happy! It was the first time in my life to celebrate my early birthday by the road side. Really awkward! But I know their 'heart'... And also thanks them for the meal :D How happy am I, you see? hehe.

You guys make me smile! :D

困扰...唉！

2011-05-01T01:38:00.005+08:00

考试考试考试！！！
讨厌啊...
每天在熬夜，读到我快疯了，有时觉得头脑重得塞也塞不进了，但还是咬紧牙关，逼自己啃下那些不愿意的 ‘一块块’ （pieces）哈哈哈！
我最不喜欢的是读书，你们知道吗？唉。。。
还好还好，大多数读的都有在考卷里出现，只是第一张 paper IEK 出了点状况，再也挽留不会了，我的最后一张 Unit Operation paper (engineering) T.T

每次开夜车，我的心情变得乱七八糟，考试这段期间，有点 emo！
每到了深夜，我就胡思乱想，念书到一半思绪就飞得远远的。。然后我又想起外婆了。她的生忌（我们活着的人的生日，但对于去世了的...大家懂啦~) 好像要到了，算算应该是第三个了。好想念她，就觉得她好像还在我们身边，时常协助我们。老实说，若外婆现在真的在家的话，我不会觉得害怕，她是不会伤害我的。人，每次等到失去了一样东西后，才惊觉自己很爱那样东西。我不例外。外婆走的那一刻，我没想到，我跌到人生最低潮的那一刻，完全不能控制的哭，一哭就整年了。。非常非常后悔当初没有真正和她聊过天，没载过她到处去。看见她庆祝生日，有谁会想到，那是她最后一次的呢?若知道，我会让她吃她最喜欢的甜食，我妈为她做的蛋糕，还有好多好多。她有糖尿病，所以一直都控制着饮食。外婆不是跟我们住的，而是在怡保，和舅舅一家住。一个七时多岁的老人家还要每天骑脚车去买菜，煮饭给儿子吃。我超不爽，应该调转来，儿子买给妈妈吃嘛！结果从脚车跌下来掉进水沟，然后跌出病来，进了医院再也没走出来了。

我一生最恨的人是舅母，那无情的女人，不但心里想要外婆快走，还在外婆去世后不让我们拿她的遗物照片衣服，更把它们烧掉！她有什么权力？！恨死她，所以在葬礼后到今天，我没有再见过她。其实我好想回到那家，外婆的房间，感受那以前的感觉，现在也只能回忆了吧！每次回想，就会见到她躺在四方床里，透过玻璃望着她，心里是那么希望这一切从没发生过。最不想想到的是看见棺木被推进火炉里....那心是彻底地碎.....了！

我不时都会梦见外婆，我猜，她应该也很想我们吧。
回忆是美好的，它让我们不会忘记过去，让我们反省自己的过错。
我不会想把这段伤感的回忆 delete, 因为有了它，我的生命才完美，我才会从中学习怎么站起来，我才会学习一些人生道理。

啊~ 松懈哦，终于发泄完了！
最近怪怪的，我突然跑去听大悲咒。呵呵，我不是个很虔诚的信徒，但是我发觉，在我懊恼的时候听一听，我的心也平静好多。
就这样，我还有最后一张 paper! 大家有考试的继续加油！！！

p/s: 何婷婷生日快乐：）

Hatyai 2D 1N trip

2011-04-16T01:46:00.006+08:00

Like how we planned, our Hatyai trip went on as usual although 2 out of the 8 couldn't attend due to some reasons. First of all, we bought tickets from Sungai nibong bus station, and we were told that there was no bus from Penang to Hatyai, all that we can take was Van. One way from penang to hatyai was RM30 per pax so 2 ways would be RM60. The van was quite comfortable, except that the aircond went wrong half way. It took us 3 hours plus to reach Hatyai, from 5.10am we boarded the van till we reach Hatyai was just 9am..

Whatever it was, first thing to do was to find hotel to put our stuffs! We simply walked into Grand Plaza Hotel, just beside Lee Garden Plaza and fuih, we booked 2 rooms! A twin room (2 single beds) for the guys and a large room (a queen size bed, a single bed and 2+1 sofa) for the girls. Although it was just 8am plus in Hatyai, but the receptionist allowed us to check in :)
The twin room was only 780 baht while the large room cost 1150 baht, reasonable!

After that we rented a tuk tuk for 20 baht per person to the so call 'pasar borong' like we had in Malaysia. We had our breakfast there, their famous porridge and chicken rice, pork knuckles rice and also wan tan mee.

Later, we took a walk around the market, some bought handbags which were really cheap, only 180 baht for one, and then we ate a packet of mango glutinous rice.
Since floating market will only open at 4.30pm, we decided to go back to Lee Garden plaza to shop. Only one shop caught my eyes with those beautiful, captivating ice creams!! Gelate!!! Wow, there were 32 flavours, and for 5 big scoops of ice cream, it will only cost 185 baht. Worth worth worth!!! While for lunch, we had Samurai pork burger from McD. It was a Must-Try-Item if you go to Thailand because it was really tasty. One thing different in McD was they had brocolli pie instead of apple pie we had in malaysia. Big contrast woah. Not onyl that, we ate bird nest dessert too. It was only 150 baht and they serve you a glass of ginseng tea without extra charge.

We took a nap before we continue to floating market where we tried lots of lots of food!! It was food heaven in Hatyai!! Coconut ice cream, pork satays, pancakes, tom yam noodles, otak otak, spicy fish ball, and many many more! My friends even tried their fried worms. They said it tasted nice but nah, I can't accept it at all. After floating market, we went to night market which was situated nearer to Hatyai town central. There were lots of lots of clothes and shoes, shop till you drop!!! Prepare more money if you're really a shopaholic! In the end, everyone bought so many things but the night was still young! We continued to shop back in the streets near Lee Garden. There were lots of stalls at night, and we had beef noodle soup as our supper. Really tasty, worth going back for it again!!!

The next morning, we walked to Kim Yong market, just a few streets away from Lee Garden. There you can see people selling fruits, vege and kuih. You can find nice black glutinous rice here and pineapples! There's nothing much I can describe bout Kim Yong because we didn't really walk through. I guess young people nowadays don't like wet market though. :D
We boarded our van at 12pm, not forgetting to buy another pork burger as our lunch and we reached USM at 6pm!

It was really a satisfying trip, if you're a food-seeker and a shopaholic. I would definitely go there again!

Why do the girls look so short compare to guys? I wonder...

Are we gonna get better?

2011-04-07T19:23:00.003+08:00

The situation went weird these few weeks.
My 'family' seemed bothered with lots of problem.
We used to talk about everything, even out of logic last time.
But now there was no more laughter.
Each was doing their own thing,
Each not bothering each other.
I didn't know where's the problem.
Last time, everyone would respond to some silly posts,
But today, there was silence, that you could even hear a needle drop.
I felt tired, I felt bad.
I wanted to make things go right but the efforts seemed unappreciated.
Why were there cracks between us?
Tomorrow will be the trip, and I'm worried now.
How will things go? Uncertainty slips through my mind.
We shall be happy.
..
...
....
I guess....

WonderFOOL outing!

2011-04-02T23:20:00.004+08:00

It was April Fool yesterday! After all the weeks, especially the weekends spent with sleepless night were over, I finally had a chance to go out of USM and enjoyed an auspicious day! It was not fool but mad! The food marathon was really great.. and it started right after we finished our morning class. We rented a car for half day and went to Queensbay to have our lunch. First of all, we had a really full Dave Deli's lunch, and then to PDI and Brands Outlet to grab some clothes. Seeing them trying on clothes was fun and then we had Trutti Fruitti yogurt(RM23.85).. Next was Manhattan Fish Market on-promotion-fish & chips. For the price of RM6.99, it was worth the money as the portion was really big. Later we headed to Jelutong pasar malam, finding parking there was really hard because the night market was really big and many people were lining up at those famous stalls for food! It took us around 2 hours to walk the market and of course, they had a lot of food there as well. Lastly, we went to Straits Quay, a new high-class place like Desa Park City we had in KL.. The atmosphere was serene and you could see ports to park the cruise. We had some leisure walk and photo takings before we ended our food trip day.

I was happy to spend time with them, and glad that I have these friends around. I prefer calling them friends rather than most of the others who used 'coursemates'. 'Friends' make the relationship sounds closer, yeah, and that's why they're called friends! Next week at this hour I'll be at Kuala Lumpur! That feeling is so anticipatable but wait, I'll be enjoying some superb moment with them first in this coming soon HATYAI trip! oh yay!

我不孤单

2011-03-26T23:55:00.002+08:00

我不是一个人，从来都不是。

单身对我而言，不是问题。我反而觉得，单身的我轻松自在，我真的好享受这种自由。
家人一直以来都在我身边支持我，不论我做了什么错，他们从没放弃过我。我很感激他们，给了我这么温暖的家。所以我是个很黏爸妈的‘大女孩’，还记得我刚进入大学独自生活的时候，我哭了整年，可他们却了解我，还不断安慰我..

在感情路上遇了挫折，我决定分手了，爸妈也一直支持我，所以我很快就站回起来了！世界上没有人能像他们那样关心我，保护我，因此，我要更爱他们。

我也很庆幸我能找到很好的朋友，一个竟然跟我在思想如此相似，了解我的朋友，可能我可以说是知己? 别人看不出的，我的想法在她的眼里却会被看穿。。啊！掩饰不了！！！哈哈哈 XD。虽然有些人会嘲笑我们像情侣，但，切！我才不管呢。做人光明磊落，怕什么？

过了短短二十多年，我没有看完全世界，没有知道所有东西，但我领悟了很多人生道理，也懂得看人。不管怎样，我们应该开开心心过日子，不要为了别人的不快乐而跟自己过不去。每个人都有缺点，我们并没有那么大颗心去包容它们，但我们可以学着看开点，就算要生气，也让它只是短暂的吧！我们不是为了别人而生活，而是为了爱我们的人而活，所以何必想不开呢？

这几天，我超想家的，所以不时都打电话给妈妈，要听听她的声音。我快乐，因为我所拥有的一切。我不祈求我一定要做大富翁，只要生活健康，幸福就好了。就算明天我将会离开这世界，就算明天是世界末日，我还是感激，感激家人给予我无限的爱，也感激朋友的陪伴。你的生活是多姿多彩，还是乌云密布，在你一念之间，自己做决定吧！

2011-03-19T17:47:00.002+08:00

天空阴暗的，我的心情也是灰色的。。
不能在医院陪伴我女儿渡过难关，我现在了解为何妈妈在我们生病时那么担心。
我们能做的都已做了，医生却说只有50-50 的生存机会。
告诉我，我能怎么办？
哭着，睡着了，但是醒来还是要面对问题。
为什么发生这种事的时候，我总不能在它们身边？
外婆呀，我知道你听见我的。。请你一定要保佑它们，给它们生存的机会吧！
O O，你一定要撑着，等我回来照顾你！

2011-03-18T18:05:00.004+08:00

A pain strucked through my heart when I received a call from my mum just now.
O O is suspected to be infected with canine parvovirus.
For those who do not know what is a parvovirus, u can read from here.
Parvovirus is a deadly dangerous virus and can easily cause death in young puppies.
O O is just 3 months old. How? How? How?
Mylo was very sick a few days ago, and was hospitalized.. and the vet discovered it had parvovirus.
O O started to feel unwell just now, and mum quickly hospitalize her..
I am so worried now..
Nothing can describe my feelings..
I want to save her
Wish I can be at home now!

This Speaks My Feeling

2011-03-15T00:14:00.002+08:00

I feel so helpless,
without a shelter from the coming storm,
how small is human,
how weak we can be,
we'll walk aimlessly,
till the day we meet our Maker,
and that's how cruel disaster can be,
bringing catastrophic tragically.

2011-03-12T19:50:00.002+08:00

Earth is getting weaker and weaker, and who knows, maybe the prediction 'End of The World' is true, and if it is, sad to say, it's just next year.
True or not, I just hope, if the end of the world is coming, on the day I die, I want to stay with my family, hug them tightly, with all my pets, and we'll be together forever.

WZDHBY

2011-03-10T02:44:00.002+08:00

真搞不懂女人到底想什么，我是说我这个女人啊，这两天觉得很不爽，心理是烦--烦闷+ 烦躁，但是却不懂自己烦什么。因为看不开，所以有很多不满，不明白做么酱不公平，累积累积，又没得发泄，我很想打人！！！！！
超想回家，安抚心灵......

Mentality Down The Drain

2011-03-06T22:07:00.004+08:00

WEiirrrr..
I can see my friends posting videos about animal abuse all these days, and it's not just 1 but it just got up to 3 now. First is the abuse of a poodle by a man, then the second is a tomboy abusing a kitten with her umbrella, which in the end, the kitten died, while the last video is about throwing a dog to the crocodiles...

I didn't watch the videos because even without watching it, my mind is already suffering from what I can imagine. Hey, you did that because you think it's fun and it's a trend now? If you just want to be famous, do something else like nude dancing or lady gaga parody I don't care, but why do you have to abuse those small little soul. They did not do any harm to you, bodoh!
You people perhaps will never understand the ordeal that the dogs and cats have to go through when you do this to them. One day, you shall be put in the same position as what you have done to them, then only you can feel the pain. Can you imagine when you put the dog into the pool filled with crocodile, how does it feel? Put yourself in their shoes!

I'm really furious about this matter, and I got so mentally imbalance. Even the tomboy had already apologized through media press, but I don't think she is sincere from the inside. So what if you have a broken family? Does that mean you can do anything including killing some innocent life? And you apologize in public over your act, hoping that everyone will forgive you? Don't be childish, it's too late to do anything. If we forgive you with just an apology, then anyone can just abuse the animals and come out to say:" Hey sorry guys, I've made a mistake, please forgive me." That's so ridiculous. We're in the 21st century, and you guys are a shame of mankind, your mentality sucks!

I believe in animal rights, and high among them is the right to the gentle stroke of a human hand - by Robert Brault.

Please Respect Animals, Stop The Abuse!

我就是有原则！

2011-03-06T01:30:00.002+08:00

我不要谈恋爱。。除非你找到一个人能接受我爱宠物多过爱他啦，那我试试考虑！
你试不着改变我，你会吐血吐到肺爆掉，然后跟我说拜拜，死翘翘。

其实很简单，我享受父母，家人和一大群可爱的朋友们的陪伴。
如果有了另一半，我的时间就要给你一大半，不划！
你能逗我笑吗？你不能，他们就可以。

还不死心？再说个理由给你，包你吓跑。。
如果你愿意入赘，做何先生，还不错。改姓？那可不用。不过过年过节初一十五除夕夜必须在我家过，因为我父母只有女儿，要他们孤孤单单过佳节，我做不到。
还有结婚后最好住在我妈家对面，这样就是 perfect 了!

我不要嫁个有钱人，我要做个有钱人。结不结婚不重要，重要我过得开心！

我怪？怪好过坏！

Bond and Free

2011-02-27T02:17:00.010+08:00

Time for some confessions.

I have been actively inclined to one of the famous social networks nowadays- Facebook. Today, I browse through some photos of my friends and found out that wow, he's already an officer now. Oh, remembering those days, we went to advance first-aid course together, passed the test and attended trainer's course together too. I guess he passed his trainer like how I did but just that I didn't take the last move like he did, to be an officer. Yes, I gave up the chance when it was given to me last year. I faced dilemma while making that decision. You know, it's really hard to release something that you had loved before. My aim was to be an officer when I first joined this organization and it was a big dream for me to reach to that level. I was once full of passion, joining the activities no matter how tired I would be and no matter how much time I had to spend.

But today, I lost those feelings, and I just couldn't make those commitments anymore. It was just merely one more step to my dream and I gave it all up just like that? Was I too emotional or my dream had changed after all these years? Frankly speaking, I was really really struggling deep inside while making that decision.. I consulted a few opinions and I accepted the one from my mum. Her explanations were more rational because we both knew that there were some reasons behind why I refused to join it anymore. I am certainly keeping those as a secret..
I did not regret though but I treasured the moments that I had enjoyed throughout those years. Those experiences had taught me a lot of things that I found that I could apply in some of my days right now. I had opened my eyes to another side of the world and enjoyed some activities that probably not everyone had the chance to do it. Perhaps my heart had spoken and perhaps it was a burden for me. I am going to step down totally, no matter what it takes and I hope my decision will be respected. I am sure there are more potential people out there that can lead better than me. My glorious days end there and from this moment onwards, I just want to be an ordinary student that will strive for her first bachelor degree! Free from my dream and bond to reality! I love who I was and who I am now ♥♥

Proud to be member before and forever. Love my uniform with Sergeant rank. It's gonna stay inside the closet now :)

2011-02-23T19:18:00.004+08:00

Introducing this black little girl to you!

She's my little baby girl now.. Blacker than a charcoal that you can't even see her eyes. A very cute and pampered girl. VERY pampered that she can't be left alone, so she must be accompanied ALL time. She will cry when my mum go to work until she comes back at night. Her voice box must be suffering now.. because she almost goes voiceless. Then when she sees you home, she will look at you and moan, as if scolding you for leaving her alone. And all you can do is to baby cradle her in your arms and console her.

She wants to sleep in my parent's room right now, otherwise she'll be crying badly again. She doesn't like to eat, and loves to play all day. You gotta sit on the floor with her, because if you sits on sofa, she'll be making noise at you again. The only thing that she likes to do is to follow you up and down, to wherever you go and make sure she keeps an eye on you.

But she's a smart little girl who will glance at the people around her with her small round eyes turning here and there. Also, she will listen to you while you talk and see if you're calling her name. She's just so adorable that I can't help falling in love with her. I love her like my own baby!

Hectic

2011-02-23T00:29:00.003+08:00

The hectic uni days are going to start from now on. It is a relief that CNY night has ended. No more Nightsss for me. I'm pretty tired of arranging time for anymore big event. I can feel I can't handle my assignments anymore if I keep on taking things that is not necessary for me to do it.

1) IEK assignment, 10 pages, and in order to do it, you need to read a few journals with at least 7 pages long, no plagiarism most importantly, and it simply means NO copy and paste..Due 18th March 12pm.
2) IBK assignment, maximum 20 pages, 2 in a group, due 1st week of april.
3) IBG lab report, on the way of finishing it now, yay =D
4) IBG presentation 4/4/2011.
5) IUK assignment, 2 pages, 3 in a group, pick some title related to your study field. But the question is WHAT should I do?
6) Testss. IUK this thurs, IBG 2/3/2011, STU 9/3/2011.

I'm gonna get crazy soon with all these heavy stuffs bothering me. Can't get myself out of my head!!!
Don't say that I'm selfish when I quit. It's because I have a limit and when I think I'm not capable of doing it, I will let go rather than struggling there. You won't even like the result of my work if I just simply do it. Everyone is different, you can be 'multipurpose', able to do many things at the same time and have very excellent time management, but that's you, don't compare it with me. I'm me!

仔细想一想，大家其实都很自私，你想要做，但你没问清楚我们到底愿不愿意做就下决定，所以你不可以怪我们过后说要退出。其实很多时候你咄咄逼人，我都快喘不过气来了，但你有去理解吗？你不喜欢做的东西，往往就塞给我们做，这样公平吗？当有什么东西做错了或你不满意，你就随便骂人，那你有想过其实自己之前没交代或检查清楚吗？

我可以说，我的界限到此，我想要休息，专心做功课，我是真的累了! 大佬，给我私人空间吧!

Indust. Tech. CNY Dinner Opening Ceremony Video and MV

2011-02-12T19:15:00.003+08:00

School of Industrial Technology USM CNY Dinner 11/2/2011

2011-02-12T18:20:00.012+08:00

Yes! The CNY night of School of Industrial Technology USM had just officially ended yesterday! Thanks to all the hard work from all the committees and friends who had helped us out through this one month preparation. It was all worth the efforts and time when the feedback from the guests were good and 'fantabulous'! I was pleased and I believed my fellow working friends were too! We've learned a lot during the past 1 month while preparing for this CNY night. From short film making to CNY song music video, we acted, sang, and edited the videos all by ourselves. It ain't easy to plan because even the small details played an important part. Luckily we had some professionals to help us in the multimedia playing throughout the night (the credits went to technical dept), with all the musics to rock up the night! Good PA system, decent decorations and a very nice opening ceremony.

It was totally an unforgettable event. Even though I came back to the room, lying dead on the bed due to exhaustion, but I was smiling, because we had so much fun. I am indeed very glad to have these friends around me. You can't stop laughing when you're with them, trust me! Yes, we did a good job although there were imperfections, but we should not blame anyone, as we were all inexperienced, we must learn from mistakes everyone! Most importantly, the flow of the event went very well and we had nice food with a very cheap price. For those who do not know, our catering cost RM9 per pax, plus, you got to watch performance, had videos to laugh at, a chance to win RM8 angpau and also door gift! Ain't this worth the RM10 you paid for this event? You judge it! :)

Now here are some photos to share with:

First time designed a poster on my own..

Before the arrival of guests.. Umph!

Working at the registration counter >> Wan and I

Reunion! >> Leng, Cass, Jay, Edwin, me and Wan

Gong Xi Gong Xi! >> Michael the emcee, Amy, Cass, Jay and I

It's Kwan's Family Reunion! >> Sebastian, ZhiHui, Hwee Leng, Jay, Cass, Esan, Wai2, Edwin, me and Wan.

The board that Amy and I decorated for 2 hours. JIENG!

Opening Ceremony performance. Live singing CNY songs and dancing.

Opening ceremony performance.

First Dish-Yee Sang presentation ceremony.

Yee Sang to start up the dinner.

Some of the 7 dishes of the night.

Bioprocess Technology.. with the juniors!

Lastly, the Umph committee members! You RoxX!

Mid-Sem Break

2011-02-09T01:20:00.008+08:00

Time flies.. and it's already 1 month since uni reopen for second semester 2010/2011.
I can't wait to go home! Sis and I bought the 7.30am bus ticket back to KL.. We slept all the way in the bus and reached old KTM station at Kuala Lumpur. We were a little lost over there as we couldn't find a way out to the platform where we could take commuter train back home. Luckily we still managed to catch a train and mum fetched us when we reach kepong sentral.
We gotta treasure this 1 week holiday very very much because it's Chinese New Year!~ happy yay!

As usual, we have EXTREME house cleaning, from the toilets to rooms and the walls and fans..everything including bathing my dogs and washing cats cage! Four of us spent 2 days to clean the house to dust-free!

I went to get rebonding on the day I reached KL and I was totally dissatisfied with the result, my hair spoilt, it's very dry.. so I'm trying to repair it now. EVERYDAY! Also, I went to get a dental filling on one of my upper teeth from a private clinic in Desa Jaya because of some problem with USM dental clinic and I spent RM60 for that.

YO! Finally it's 1 night before CNY. The Reunion dinner. This year is merrier, as those cousins who are married will be eating together with us where every family has to prepare one dish, and my cute aunt purposely come back from USA. Woah! The dinner is very happening I can tell. We have yeesang, teriyaki chicken, pumpkin with cheese, pepper mutton soup, some pig intestine dish, bak-zam chicken and tong shui. Yum Yum! After dinner, everyone starts their 'thing' -gambling and drinking all kinds of 'sweety-drinks'.

On the first day of CNY, I was excited to get the first angpau from parents, and to my surprise the amount increase again this year! HAHAHA. Then we were busy collecting angpauSss from relatives and newly-wed cousins. At night, when I was having snacks and cookies, suddenly I felt a crack on my teeth and I looked into the mirror, WAH~! Quarter of my teeth came out, and it's the permanent big teeth! Die lo die lo... could this teeth survive?! I don't want to wear denture la! The edges of the broken part were sharp, causing my tongue to get cut all the time. So uncomfortable!

On the second day of CNY, we went to have dinner at restaurant- GOLDHILL.. We booked 2 tables, one for young people and the other for elders. Each table costed around RM600 I guess. I was very disappointed as I could not get any dentist on business, I felt so uncomfortable with that stupid teeth cutting my tongue while I eat!

On the third day of CNY, finally there was a dental clinic opened for business. I went there at 11am, waited 2 hours for my turn and finally let the dentist to check on me. Sad news he brought, because he said 1/3 of my teeth gone, and it's actually hollow inside. T.T
He helped me to repair and let me see how serious was my teeth before he fill the hole. I got even more worried when I looked into the mirror. The hole was so deep that it already reached the gum and blood is oozing out non-stop. The dentist tried for quite some time to stop the bleeding but it didn't work and in the end he had to give me injection. Finally, bleeding had stopped and he can put dental filling. He warned, my nerve could die and if that happen, I will have to go back to get the filling out again, take the died-nerve out and refill that hole. So let's pray that won't happen at all. I want my tooth badly! A dental filling that took 1 hour plus and costed me RM260! SHOCKED? yes I was! Two teeth together had me spent RM320.. bo lui la.... also, I have to eat like old people now, slow in every bite.

On the fifth day of CNY, it's time for me to get back to USM. I wished I need not but still, I headed onto the bus reluctantly. I am still in the mood of CNY honestly, not willing to do any work actually. Haiz! Whatever it is, I have to focus, CNY dinner is coming, this friday and I got lots more to prepare. Let's hope for the best on friday night!

I LIKESs! -quote of the month-

2011-01-21T01:20:00.004+08:00

Wow wow, I have class at 10am tomorrow, but I need to go to the wet market at 8am, and I'm still hanging here!!!

Only 1 reason that drives me on cloud nine: Planning a trip!!! Thinking of it makes me so excited weih... Hope everyone can make it la! The more the merrier!

Oh yay! It's not impossible to get everyone from everywhere together for a trip, it's just Difficult but we sure can compromise!

Sneak Peek!

2011-01-16T23:12:00.006+08:00

Here's the trailer of our CNY Dinner 2011 opening ceremony! Self-directed, self-acted and self-edited!

Behold for the real event on 11/2/2011!
MV and Full Opening ceremony video coming up soon!

please turn your speaker loud for there is some technical problem with the background music being too soft.

我怎么了呀？

2011-01-12T20:10:00.003+08:00

我呀，我呀。。最近都发一些非常奇怪又可怕的梦
首先，前两天我梦见家里被打枪，妹妹和我都看见那个匪徒跑向门来，我赶快锁门，但手还是被砍了一刀。
今天，我却梦见妹妹死了，然后我也死了。。两人的灵魂跑回家里找爸爸妈妈。
唉！！！我就是睡着睡着从梦里惊醒过来，吓得我不知所措。
这底怎么了？

这学期刚开始了三个星期，可是感觉上，就好像过了整个月。真的很希望能快点回家啊。我想过年！
有时候自己一个人在宿舍里会胡思乱想。。
这句从面子书找来的 statement 很有feel : "有些伤口，时间久了就会慢慢长好；有些委屈，受过了想通了也就释然了；有些伤痛，忍过了疼久了也成习惯了……然而却在很多孤独的瞬间，又重新涌上心头。------ 其实，有些藏在心底的话，并不是故意要去隐瞒，只是，并不是所有的疼痛，都可以呐喊。"

说得很对！是，伤口再怎样深，怎样痛，都会好起来的，但是心里就是有那根刺。。如果时间能倒退，我多么希望很多发生了的事情能从来。但死了就死了，就算我哭盲了眼，也不能唤醒外婆吧。对于她的离世，我已经慢慢放下了。但是针对那些人对她做过的事，我决不能原谅，这一辈子也不能！我做过最遗憾的事，就是，我没花更多的时间陪外婆聊天。即使她已病卧在加护病房，我也没勇气面对她说话，因为我知道我会哭。If you want to know what had happened actually, this is where you should click. It is the previous post that I've created 2 years ago, which sought all the explanations.

算啦，这伤口忍了几年咯，也就习惯了。我能执着什么呀? 最心痛的人该是妈妈吧，那毕竟是她母亲。。
不过现在啊，我回到家都会看着外婆的遗照说一两句话，感觉就好像她还在我们身边呢。
经过这么多事，我领悟了不少。我知道，我一定要对父母好好的！

好啦，说了这么多，心情好多了。再见了个位。谢谢观赏！

Bear Bear Hor

2011-01-10T00:42:00.005+08:00

I have a very lovely Teddy who had accompanied me for 14 years and still looking good. I assume it's a MALE. Hence,

Name: Johnny(initially) but current one is Bear Bear Hor(given by my coursemates)
Age: 14 years
Colour: Brown
Personality: A pampered boy
Hobbies: Sleep with me, comfort me

Those were just some imagination that I've created, but just ASSUME it's real ok?

Having a teddy makes me feel more at home even I'm far away from my home sweet bed. I feel warm when hugging him, and he's as much important as a son to me. He used to travel with me to lots of places, and he'd even been to Thailand! HOU GENG Arrr!

Bear Bear Hor is not just an ordinary teddy. He is one my coursemates' source of entertainment, and of course, one of my beloved!

Well, despite all the troubles that have been bothering me, life still moves on right?
Today marks the day of our 2011 CNY MV shooting. The first MV that I take in my life. It is so much fun... because when you enjoy seeing people NG, others also enjoy seeing you NG. But the whole process is real tired! Not JOKING! We started at 8am and finished at 8pm. My whole body feels like jamming up and my legs are SO pain as if they're going to break............
Anyway, the MV will be released a month later. So be patient and stay tuned! :P

2011-01-06T00:04:00.002+08:00

Unbelievable! I'm turning 22 this year! Oh.. time flies~
Browsing through those photos taken when I just got into Uni, and comparing it with recent photos, I just realized, we got so much mature already, which means, we're older now!
Uni's days are made to be busy because of my participation in the society's activities. Coming up is the CNY dinner, walao so many workloads!

Many things are bothering me lately. I probably need a pda to assist my brain.
The problem that make me worry the most is my mum's shop problem. There are some issues regarding the land. And it's said to be an illegal land. The owner of the shop is still discussing with the local municipal council. If that's the case, shops might need to be closed down. Close down means, my family income is going to be in trouble. Sigh. Should I look over this matter positively or negatively? To whom should I share this problem?
If I'm capable, I would like to do something for my parents.. and Dad is having migraine. Our situation is not that bad now I know, but I'm preparing for the worst. Mum and dad seldom talk bout this problem to us, I know they don't want us to worry about it. Haiz.
A sudden tear just gush up my eyes.. But I will learn to hold it! I must stay strong for this! I know we can overcome it, we must overcome!

1/1/2011

2011-01-01T19:59:00.007+08:00

1st post of the year 2011!

Yesterday was the last day of 2010, and it was a public holiday in Malaysia (our PM announced it after Malaysia team won the AFF Suzuki Cup).
I had 4 days of holidays including the weekends.. But I chose to stay in USM rather than going back home... >.< I was glad that I still had great moments with my good friends even I had to spent this special moment away from family. We went to Perangin Mall for shopping spree in the morning, and reached there around 9.45am. All the shops were closed, and we started to walk and walk, until all the shops were opened for business. First time we walked the whole building, going into almost all the shops to try for clothes... I was very pleased with the 2 new shirts I bought from PDI, worth of RM119.. But Amy and Leng were more superb, they bought shoes, shirts and bags! JPA had not bank in money for me yet.. Sigh. I'm kinda poor now, otherwise, I would've buy some shorts as well. Before we leave, we cross over to 1st Avenue shopping mall just beside Perangin Mall. The smell of the building was still new and fresh. I got a bluecheese boy from ROTI BOY while Leng tried their yogurt for the first time! Yogurt which costed RM11! It's self service and you can add topping as you wish because they count it by weight (RM0.55/10 gram). You take more, you pay more. After that we took bus to Queensbay Mall, again to another PDI outlet.. haha.. XD
Everywhere were packed with people... Finally, I get to taste the yogurt from Jco Donuts. It was so tempting! They offered Single (RM6.19), Couple(Rm10+) and Sharing(RM12+).. 3 of us ordered a Sharing. Their yogurt was different because it was frozen and a little bit sourish compare to other brands I me like it!! Gonna get it on Monday again. =) Don't worry, it's fat free! We settled our dinner in Winter Warmers, and the atmosphere was so comfortable, giving us a warm-hearted feel. However the service was not very good as there were a lot of customers but only 3 waiters are working and at last, even the kitchen boy had to come out to serve the food and take orders. Our table was unlucky because they gave us the wrong salad, and I got the wrong drink >_<
Having to rush our meal for the 9.30pm movie- The Tourist, we even self-serviced to get the plate stacked up so that the waiter could take it back to the pantry easily. Jonny Depp was very cute and funny like always while Angelina Jolie had really nice eyes and lips!

We got out from the cinema at 11.30pm and it was time to wait for the countdown outsede Qb Mall! One of the members of Beyond(叶世荣) was there to sing.. He led us to sing 海闊天空, 光輝岁月 and 真的爱你. What I realised was that many Penang people can't sing cantonese and almost all the audiences only listened quietly.. haiya.. watch concert like that not fun lo, as only we were 'high-ing' at the back there. XD After a short moments of fireworks, everything had come to the end. There was no bus at all and the road was blocked. So we had to walk to Sg. Nibong to take a taxi back to hostel.. Again we did some crazy little stuffs along the whole day but it was fun!

This day was memorable I had to say. I love being together with them and they made me realised what friends are for. The 'I' in the past don't believe in friends very much because of some incidents happened during primary school time. For me, friends were just some people who walked into your life and leave. But everything is different now. First time I would do something for friends even I had to bear the consequences after being caught. I changed a lot hadn't I?

Afterall, I'm glad to have friends like both you guys, and also Luluians!

Some photos to share:

Enjoying Jco Frozen Yogurt

In Winter Warmers with my tropical tea, taste good!

Things I Did During Semester Break

2010-12-28T00:59:00.004+08:00

Wow, it's going to the end of December, and it's the ending of 2010, welcoming year 2011!
So, I'm going back USM soon, very soon, em, if you want to count, it will be 17 hours more at home!
Time really passes fast eh! Without realizing, I'm already in my second year second semester study! 2013 will be the year I graduate and it will be meaningful I guess because I'll be graduating together with my sister! Hope that the end of the world is not happening before 2013.......... oopsi!
Few days ago I received my semester result and I was kinda shocked and amazed as it was the highest pointer I had ever achieved! Mum called me and I almost cried on the phone just because I was too excited!
New Year New Aim New Hope! I hope I can maintain this result, please bless me with 1st class degree please!!!

Back to the topic, the things I did during this semester break was quite a lot.. Here's a list:

1) Had fun with Amy and Zhi Heng in Midvalley, watched 3D Megamind and ate luxurious lunch at Tony Roma's.
2) In-charged a blood donation campaign in Selayang Mall. (quite rush actually as I did not have much time to prepare, but thanks to my PA, miss Chan helped a lot!)
3) Went to few gatherings with Luluians. Sometimes just 4 of us but it was so nice to have a great chat with them.
4) Went to 3D 2N trip with Luluians, the 2nd completed trip. Gua tempurung tour failed but white water rafting was fun and worth the money! Bukit Merah Laketown resort waterpark was just nice, being able to soak in water but as well as got burnt under the scorching sun >.<
5) Learnt how to play chor dai dee and I was actually so dumb in playing cards. *O*
6) Had a small meet up with chin ting and si jia to listen to their stories.
7) Played with the 4 kittens at home. Hugged Tommy nicely and bring Miao Miao for a walk with leash on. Get in love with Baby, the silky terrier, and felt the cuteness in Mylo and Popeye, the two Cowly dogs.
8) Had a BBQ party on christmas eve.
9) Went to Betong, Thailand for 2D 1N with family. This time without sister as she was back to USM earlier.. But the trip was tiring and the sun was actually making me sick.
10) Owh, had a beer night with the 3 Luluians + Mc. It was a sudden outing with them..
11) Brought Lola and Mimi to spay at SPCA. Lola was so cute, fat and short. XP
12) Cut my hair short. I've regretted.. I should have cut it shorter like Penny Tai. That style looks COOL!

I received good news form Tania that her doggies gave birth to 4 puppies yesterday. Hope that there'll be one which look like Raisin! I would want to bring her home!
Starting this semester I'm gonna sleep alone in my room as my roommate will be having her internship somewhere in Penang Butterworth. Good news for me and FREEDOM! But I was so scared to sleep alone even at home. Hence... mum and I went to shop for a 'sleeping' dim light. So cute that it has got a penguin shape. HAHAHA.
I will miss the days I spent in KL! Just 1 month ya! I'll be back!

123

2010-12-20T03:53:00.004+08:00

One Two Three, Jump!
Still remember when you were a small kid and standing beside the pool? On the count of 3, my sis will jump into the pool and climbed out of the water again and the cycle went on.....
Memory was traveling a lot these few days. Oh, I miss my kids time!
and then................

It feels like nothing sitting in front of this PC.
Sis went back to USM this morning, 7am flight. She didn't sleep last night, so am I... what a LIFE.
I came home, fell into slumber and woke up at 8pm. HAHAHAHA. Too Over huh?
Then it was dinner time with mama and daddy, and we reached home at 10pm.
Should I say out of the blue? Well, just after my bath, 4 of them came to my house and picked me up to Sunway Giza. They said want to have a drink.. and ended up with.............................
I gulped down 1 pint of Hoegaarden. >.<
Felt dizzy but I AM SO confirmed that I AM ALL THE WHILE CONSCIOUS.
Reached home at 2.15am. HAHAHA. Finally I'm not a Cinderella anymore. Congratz!

I'm kinda in love with White water Rafting. It was dangerous, it was expensive but the experience you gained, was unexplainable. So in love with such adventurous sports! Too bad we didn't get into gua tempurung. ISH ISH ISH. The 2nd Luluians trip was simple but it was meaningful! I love the way we get wet Ahahaha.

Did I just mention we look like some Drama Series actor? XP

My New LOOK

2010-12-12T00:35:00.004+08:00

Hey Hey, recently, I've made some adjustment to myself.
I've cut my hair haha. But I hate its curly part.
Then I went to get a pair of specs, just mild short-sight.. but I find it hard to read slides during lectures.
So..................... * jeng jeng jeng jeng *

Shorter hair and new specs. Yo! I like the way it's BLUE~

p/s: A-Look Eyewear got promotion right now till Feb 2011. Whenever you purchase one pair of eyeglasses, with just another donation of RM10 to St. John Ambulans Malaysia, you'll get another pair of glasses for free. I bought this for Rm198 and I got the second pair for free (worth 168).. gonna give it to my mum =)

i am mad

2010-12-07T01:04:00.002+08:00

Hate to mention anything bout Bangkok trip. Each time we talk about it, conflicts occur. I know, I know, she doesn't want me to spend unnecessary money on the flight price which shoot up high when the dates of booking are getting closer. But what can I do? AirAsia I called already, email I emailed already, all the doubts have been cleared but problem is still problem. It remains unsolved.
Then she told me, don't join the trip since it's expensive, join it next time. OK... =(
Then she asked again:" So are you still going?"
I replied, maybe not, maybe yes, still have to see the ticket's price. If Bangkok trip is unsuccessful, then maybe Langkawi or what. I just simply mention a place and got her scolding again. This is because I went to Langkawi twice and she thinks that it'll be a waste of money if I go again. But those are just some craps and she thinks of it as if they're real. If I could, I would like to bang everything on floor >.< YIKES!
Sigh... to nowhere and no one I could speak my frustration out, except this lonely place, called My Blog.
I'm so frustrated that I do not want to go out to any gathering when I still can't find any solutions to this problem. Tell me, should I block away all my social contacts!?
I am sick with heavy flu. And people just called while I was sleeping resting. Nothing important but to ask me out again. URGHHH.. hate that I could not dump that stupid phone into my toilet bowl~!

The Connection

2010-11-12T15:44:00.004+08:00

Watched the movie Hachiko: A Dog's Story.. And it melts my heart, simply because I'm a dog and cat lover too..
The story tells about the connection between the owner and the dog Hachi, not just an owner-pet relationship, but a heart-to-heart understanding between each other. Their story brings me back to the time I'm with them, the beloveds. Though some of them had become a history, but the sweet memories remained.

♥ Dear Nunu (in heaven) and I.. Sadly, I did not take any photo with Dolly.. ♥

♥ And till now, my baby Tommy and I ♥

The love and friendship that build up between a human and an animal amazed me. You know, you can just love them like any of your family members too! Sometimes, they understand you more than anybody and their loyalty is worth to be praised!

Hachiko, an AWESOME movie!

Safe from Westlife!

2010-11-11T22:07:00.007+08:00

I've been waiting so long for Westlife's new album. And yay! It's released... Happy =)

Love their new song - SAFE
click to watch the MV..

Why Am I Always The Unlucky One?

2010-11-08T18:25:00.007+08:00

Was I too naive? or Had I put too much trust on them?
I try to be nice, but the return I got, was not appreciation.
I never want to push anyone down the cliff, I'll help if any of u need it but please... I really don't expect such repay. Now all of us are in the deep blue sea trying to save ourselves. Will we get through safely or just die like that?

I was totally speechless just now. I couldn't even catch a word to defend myself. I was stunned with what was shown before my eyes. How can I explain my innocence to her?

I feel hopeless and I can't differentiate black or white now. My trust was destroyed again and again. Totally disappointed!

Betul-Betul KANASAI

Stress, Are You?

2010-11-07T22:56:00.007+08:00

Believe or not you'll do something funny or silly just before your final exam?
Whether it's for laughing or to release stress, here are some pictures for entertaining purposes. My friend and I was chatting on msn just 2 days before our first paper- Industrial Microbiology. Out of the blue, she was addicted to drawings.. which made me laughed tremendously in room. So what more? Picture speaks a thousand words.

So, that's our way of releasing stress. What about you?

A Rest to Refresh

2010-11-05T02:24:00.004+08:00

I'm not lost,
I'm not broken,
I'm resting to the utmost,
And glad that my days are brightened!

Ever since I've started busy compiling the assignments given to me one month ago, I barely gain interest to blog..
This semester is hard to endure, because the workloads are extremely burdening. You gotta rush lab reports every week, moreover, do assignments for the 100% coursework subject(computer programming) which could possibly take you 3 hours to solve just one stupid question and study for tests, prepare slides for presentations. How do we manage to complete them? Answer: sacrificing the SLEEP.
I always ended up working till 4am and slept until 1pm the next day during the weekends.. And I woke up straight to continue the work without having my 'brunch'! Well, probably my time management is not that good, but I guess, without these much of hard work, I wouldn't be able to see how far could I go. Luckily all went well.. I'm quite confident with my viva session with Dr. Anees =)
The most rewarding part after some not-very-human-like days is the Bioprocess Field Trip. It was AWESOME!!! Penang- Perak (Kuala Kangsar) - Seremban - Johor (Skudai UTM) - Malacca.. We travelled with USM bus, and our accommodations were fully subsidised by USM. This trip opened our eyes to many fields that we can work in and I like YAKULT and Malacca Biotech Corporation laboratory's working environment the most! Back in hotel room was the craziest moment, where we celebrated Amy's birthday and then played a lot while watching HK drama. Hope that Amy was happy with the celebration because we can only plan it very last minute due to the not-very-well-planned schedule of the trip.. But we actually failed to plan as it should be secretive but turned out to be not secretive at all =P
Finally, I got home after the 3 days trip.. It's study week! I had taken a real good rest and I'm full of energy. Now I'm ready to strive for my final exams! So.. heading back to Penang unwillingly. =(

** There are 2 puppies and 1 funny hairy dog in my house now. I guess the 2 puppies are jack russell while the other one is a silky terrier. Mum adopted them. See ya guys 3 weeks later when I got home! **

Assimilating Into Different Culture

2010-10-02T01:57:00.009+08:00

Born in Malaysia, a country consist of peoples from different ethnics with different cultures, it is inevitable for us to assimilate into the other ethnic groups cultures. From language, the way we live, and to the way we celebrate our 'new year', every cultures more or less interfere each other, making every single one special. We Malaysians, live as a nation.

Today was the day Persatuan Teknologi Industri hold the Majlis Sambutan Hari Raya which was considered as a practice that we'll do every year. Some of my friends and I were involved in this majlis as committees, part of it was because I am the exco for the society, and the other reason was that I appeared in the meeting last time and oops, can't escape from taking the responsibilities! XD However, it will be a good experience, as to plan an event for a different race could be a great challenge if we don't understand the other races well.

Luckily, I got a simple job which was the sambutan and jemputan. The scope was to take the attendance of participants and to make sure they sit nicely in the hall. I supposed, I can do the work so much better, but due to some problems which was created by other exco, a little mess turned up at the registration counter. Aiks! That's their ways of doing things, all LAST minute. So you gave me the namelist last minute, and you expect the best from me? Get lost~~ H'ng! My quality is not until this level only ok.

Talk bout other topics pula. I was on the phone with mummy everyday. We were talking about dogs, dogs and only dogs, and we sometimes even 'scold' the irritating people together. hehe =)
I was supposed to go home this week as I have 4 days of holidays! Days with class cancelled from Thursday to Monday. Hooray! But because of this jamuan, I was forced to stay back in USM. ISH, I am irritated.. Yor, this life is super hard. Sigh sigh sigh. I hate to do things that I don't like. And I don't like Penang =( because it separates me from my mama papa.

Lastly, show you guys a picture of me in baju kurung! (third from left, in red)

伤心的事, 藏在心底.
不知不觉，已习惯了所有的不习惯.
哭过就好了, 伤都会好的
这样相信, 所以深呼吸着割舍.
哭过就好了, 痛都会走的
记忆有限, 所以它会淘汰坏的
失眠听歌, 想念虽然苦涩,
还是谢谢你让我长大了.

Melancholy-Invaded Soul

2010-09-30T02:23:00.013+08:00

I am nobody, but a man with part of the soul worn-out.. This is not the life that I want, and I have Hobson's choice but to accept it.
I do not have the mood to do anything, JUST anything.
I give hope to life but life never reciprocates me with love.
It was sad to accept death, even the death of pets(for me) because they were like the dearly family members to us.
I couldn't walk away from the ordeal that I had endured, looking at my dogs dieing in our arms helplessly. When it's something that you Love and you can't do anything to save it but have to watch it suffer till dead, that's the worst torture a human mind can take. What more when it's not only one but two deaths in 4 days?
Some people may not understand, Raisin was just 4 days with us, do I really love her so much?
Yes! I do love her unconditionally. What had bothered me a lot was not the money to buy her but a short life given to her.

The post-mortem result of Raisin showed: almost white colour tongue, multifocal haemorrhage and congestion on lung. deep red liver. kidney was pale looking, with some congestion areas radiating out along renal cortex.

She must be in a great pain before she dies. Imagining this alone will drive my tears..
Also, I couldn't accept how short Nunu's life could be. Being just 1 and a half year old, she should be actively jumping around but not surrender to death. While the death of Dolly.... sigh, their departures were just too sad for me.
I had once dreamt that one day, I will own a pet shelter, to give a comfortable home to all abandoned cats and dogs. Whenever I see stray cats and dogs, I will feel pity for them, and I wish that I can afford to love them. Perhaps this animal-lover-heart of mine is a gift from the god?

I used to stare blankly a lot these days. I wasn't concetrating on what I was supposed to do. I can't think properly. My soul is as if being tear out bits by bits. OH, HOW LONELY I ACTUALLY FEEL IN MY HEART. I want to walk out from this trauma toughly and strongly.

Guide me through, feel me, will you my Dears? With love and salutes.

Dolly. Nunu. Raisin.

Another History

2010-09-08T19:33:00.008+08:00

I am so sick, so sick! Sick mentally!!!!!!!!!!!
I bought a new puppy back home after Nunu's death but in just 4 days, this new puppy, which we named her Raisin, die again suddenly this morning 5.30am. Sis and I were still playing with her at 2.30am. She was still very fine and healthy and then die in 3 hours time. HOW to accept this reality?! Nunu and Raisin both died in the same way, with same signs and symptoms. And the most painful was that we were not given any chance to save her as the time was too short. Raisin died in 5 minutes after some struggles. What was it that kill both of them? still remain mysterious. I hope I can receive the result from Regional Veterinary Laboratory soon for the post-mortem test on Raisin. I feel so unsecured at home, as if there are something very poisonous that may just kill all of us. Losing 2 beloved dogs in 5 days is seriously painful. What more when you see them die in your arms? I love them, I've never been cruel to dogs and cats. And why the hell this kind of punishment falls on us? I would rather choose to cut short my life to give life to Raisin. She's only 2 months old! She hasn't play yet, she hasn't receive enough love from us yet! I... am totally blank. I would not want to destroy their lives with my love anymore.

Raisin, May you rest in peace. Don't be afraid. We'll always be by your side. With Love.

She Had Become A History

2010-09-04T14:59:00.003+08:00

Nunu Girl. Our beloved dog, passed away yesterday, 3rd Spetember 2010, 9.45pm. Suspected cardiac arrest. When the incident happened, I was having dinner with my friends and my mum called to inform me. My parents couldn't save her. It was too late, it happened too fast. According to my mum, she was playing happily, but suddenly she was banging at the door and kept running around the house as if she saw something very frightening. And soon she stopped with her tongue hanging out, gasping for air. And then she lost her breathe. I knew, she was in pain when she was running madly because she was trying to get rid of that pain. Even if I were at home, I won't be able to help her with CPR..
Last night when I got home, she was there to welcome me. Happily jumping at me. In the afternoon, she was still playing with me, and following me around the house, and even asking me to pamper her while she sat on my thighs with her toy.
It was unexpected as she was just one year old. So sudden that we could not believe. We were in pain too over her death. And I believe, my sister would feel it the most. I would like to cry out loud if I could.What a sad case. Nunu, we'll miss you a lot. We love the way you ask for food. It's so special that no any other dogs will do it. We will get another dog back home soon so that it can help us to look after our house but it is not to replace you because you are a special one and you'll forever live in our memories.

I want

2010-09-01T11:19:00.003+08:00

I am tired. and just want to go home.
I want to see mummy daddy's face.
Want to hug my boy, Tommy. Hugss~
Em.
Emm.
Emmm.
I shall not be emo.
I want to GO HOME!

This Semester is Crazy!

2010-08-26T00:16:00.004+08:00

Something is wrong with my life! Why do I have to wake up 8am everyday for classes? Why do I have to wear formal clothes for 3 consecutive mondays just to wait for my turn to do presentation? Why are there so many labs and yet all of them can't seem to be reaching an end? One experiment links to another and of course, it gets so much confusing.. People gave me wrong instructions on the experiment today, and I have to redo it. Sigh. We have to spend 6 hours for one experiment and in this particular week, we've already spent 9 hours doing labwork! Don't even talk about lab reports.. 3 lab reports are waiting for me.. One word to describe them, TEDIOUS workload. Tests are on schedule, one after another, before and after our mid-sem break.. How to relax you tell me? Holiday is around the corner, can't they let us breathe? THIS is seriously causing me STRESS! I need a break and fly free~ hypnotize me hypnotize me...

Time To De-StreSsss!!!

2010-08-17T23:45:00.002+08:00

I need time to release myself!!!
Argghhh...
Hate Tediousss Lab reports, Hate Boring boring class and the fact that presentations and test are coming one after another!
Life...........................Sigh...................

PekCeknya that day. I woke up late for class, quickly brush teeth wash face all that and dress up nicely cuz will have presentation, mana tau after i lock my room's door, I saw SMS.. 'today's class cancel, sorry bagi tau late'. ADUHAI. I walk back to room, unlock the door again and change back into pyjamas, drop back and fall asleep. My roommate might think that I'm crazy.

I wanna SING la! Mau release release~~~ Holiday mari fast fast, i need to rest! Backbone nak crack ddi........ >__<

It's an Overwhelming Love..

2010-08-15T13:11:00.003+08:00

Back home for my grandpa's 80th birthday.. I was longing for this day to come ever since Mr. Tommy had decided to disappear from home and then came back after a week. I wish to hug him tight tight once I reach home, and I did! He's such a cute little baby...

Yo My Sky is So so much Brighter Now!

2010-07-31T23:45:00.003+08:00

He's back He's back! Tommy is back! Wow.. Love really makes miracle! and thank god and my late grandma for hearing my prayers! Thanks for making my dream comes true, again! Thanks! I'm so happy that I cry for happiness, for the 1st time! Last week same time same location, I was told that he was lost and after a week, same time same location, I received calls that he is back! This is so amazing! See~~~~ He's back!

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish

2010-07-27T00:31:00.003+08:00

When will my rainbow appear?

I Beg you..please!

2010-07-25T19:34:00.003+08:00

When you lost something, you can buy it back..
But when you lost a pet which is like a family with you, you can't buy it even you're the richest person in the world.
For the person who got my cat, please don't be selfish and return it to me. Because I'm really crying helplessly here. I am now living like a walking body without a soul.. You might feel you're lucky to be able to get such beautiful cat, but this cat has its owner and its owner loves him more than anyone could imagine. It is one of the best gifts that God had given her in her whole life.. So please... please don't take away Tommy from her. She knows what Tommy likes, she knows how Tommy sleeps and eat and she understands Tommy more than any other person. Please let them be together, please do some good deed... Please...be generous to her.

"Life isn't life without Tommy by my side"

LOST CAT

2010-07-25T13:27:00.001+08:00

LOST!!!

Name: Tommy
Gender: Male(neutered)
Features: Blue eyes, brownish white fur, pink nose, pinkish palm, brown fluffy tail.
Birthmark: A patch of dark brown fur at the back of his right leg.

* If you see him, please return him and contact 0126800692(Amy) or 0126800871(Albert).
* A reward of RM200 will be given for anyone who successfully return him to us.

Random 5

2010-07-25T01:36:00.002+08:00

I cried and cried..
Hid myself under the handkerchief..
And it is all wet by now.
Cried till headache,
Cried till having a flu,
Cried till eyes and nose pain,
Cried till whole face swollen,
AND I am still crying.

TOMMY, please come home. I pray I pray I pray for u. Please.......... be home! I'll be the first to rush home to see you if you come back!

Tommy is LOST!!!

2010-07-24T22:16:00.013+08:00

Mum just called while I was walking in the night market and I was told that he is LOST!!! Tommy's cage was opened and miao miao was there but TOMMY is missing! ARHHH... I am so nervous, so anxious that I cried in Tesco while still discussing with mum on the phone! Tommy is a very timid cat and he is very afraid of strangers... how can people steal him?! arhhhhh........ I am very worried. My eyes are swollen now I guess. I need tommy back.. I need him very very very much. I could not afford to lose him. If I can get him back by giving up everything, I will, I definitely will! Come on, who's the brave thief who have stolen my little handsome cat? will you exchange him for money with me? Tommy has been with me for 3 years plus.. I see him born, see him grow, see him get neutered, see him get fat, see him play, see him talk cat's language. I spent my time with him so much that I really cannot live without him. Everytime I go back home during semester break, the first thing i'll think of is Tommy. And now, I desperately want to see him and hug him in my arms. Please tommy, please, if you have chance, please excape back home. Please find a way back home. Please recognise our home, your home. Please be back with me, Again. I swear, I won't let you go again if you ever come back. I really love you tommy!

Have you seen this little cutie around your housing area? Tommy, Aged 3, Male, a neutered cat.

From The Past to Present

2010-07-24T14:42:00.008+08:00

There are quite some changes in myself in these few years, which sometimes I couldn't believe my eyes while looking at them..

The Past and The Present

SURPRISE?!
I may change a lot in the outlook, but inside, I am still ME, the very much real YanYan..
My passion, my love for the things and people that I like will always grow, but they never change! Because I hold on to my principle!

Bla Bla Bla..

2010-07-18T21:56:00.002+08:00

Have been stucked in the room for this whole weekend, which means a total of 3 and a half days.. Well, becoz the last day of my class of every week is on thursday 12pm! It's great but it's B.O.R.I.N.G! I couldn't think of other things to do except sleeping and watching HK drama..
It's not a good news to have so many days free.. as I will be given more spare time to think of those moody moody things. Plus, I just came back to Penang. Kinda hard to suit to a new environment, for me. Because I have been assigned to a new room, and of course a new roommate. Well, I enjoy freedom after all cz she was not in the room since thursday. Yay! but sleeping alone is a bit scary~~ So I on her study light when I sleep but I can't sleep with lights on! ceh!!!! Not really cool >.<

I was alone. Because sis went to camping. Aiks, don't talk bout my mum. She will sms me daily asking 'How are you today?'. Then after I reply her and ask her some other questions, for many many moments of silence, there will not be any REPLY again! Alahai... and when you call her, she doesn't answer phone. Don't my parents know that I miss them SHOOW SHOOW Much?? I just wanna listen to their voice and satisfy my homesick soul.

My 'sun' is hidden under those dark clouds.. I couldn't shine cheerfully. But I believe I will soon be back to normal after I get used to this new life. One month, way to go man! Oh ya, I was elected as the exco of my school's persatuan. And not nice la.. coz all the plans were like so unorganised. Whatever it is, try my best la.
Hm, check through Fireflyz website.. Should I buy air-ticket to go home? I saw cheap cheap one neh..

So this marks the 100th posts. Nothing special. Not my birthday, who cares? and guess what? I just scrolled across Luluians photo albums and I realised, I SMILED when I see them. Mood is better a lot! That's why they brightened up my days! =)

The Downside

2010-07-16T21:16:00.002+08:00

Looking at this screen,
I am all blank,
I have my heart lost in somewhere,
And my mind floating blindly,
Back in my home,
Mum and dad are all I need,
To heal this empty soul.

This new environment is a challenge to me,
Because of the new lifestyle that I have to adjust,
For the sake of my new roommate..
I am just too fragile,
That I will break and shatter into pieces in a moment,
All I need is company,
To hold me through this period kindly.

Dry tears I hold in my eyes,
Because I told myself I cannot shed a tear,
But it only makes me feel worse,
I need to stand firm I know,
For I am already a growing adult,
But please give me love,
To heal this solemn heart.

E.....M..O?

2010-07-13T18:34:00.002+08:00

I am super damn EMO. I hate my cupboard which has one drawer lock malfunction one! and I hate that the store is not open yet, i can't take out my stuffs. no pillow, no pail, no shampoo, How to bath la? I hate that i'm in the basemant-like floor.. i Hate that my bed is just beside the door.......... I hate la!!!
I want my home my room my mummy daddy my tommy Nunu.
and i have to wait for a month............ T.T ARrrr..I wanna cry!

A Few Words

2010-07-13T00:01:00.007+08:00

Sigh....
Damn Emo now..
Because she's going back to Penang in less than 12 hours.
And because it brings sorrows of separation to her,
From beloved parents, pets, Luluians, friends to all the stuffs about KL..
"You just can't choose, because your future chooses you!"

- Quoted by YaN YAn -

I am Emo

Sangat Free ni.......................

2010-07-09T13:26:00.001+08:00

Was playing with photo editor now.. out of boredom! and look what I got....

My Stupid dog and I
(she bites my sis university offer letter >.< )

With Sympathy

2010-07-09T00:39:00.004+08:00

2 days ago, marked the day we found Xiao Mao dead..
Xiao Mao: Male, kept by my mother in her shop and was a very lovely cat who knew how to show love to his wife and son.. He would Meowww at me everytime he sees me at the shop, which said:"Please give me cat food!"
On that blissful morning, we saw blood stain on the floor and the blood still drip from the roof of our shop..

We were so curious. dead Rat?? Impossible that rat had this much of blood.. Human?? oh my oh my. And then our neighbour took a ladder, climbed up and saw, Xiao Mao lying there, DEAD. I myself also went up to see, and it looked terrible, with four legs facing the sky and his face facing me, and blood covering half of his face. He must have died a few days ago coz his stomach was bloating. It was sad to see him dead, and even died in such terrible condition. Wonder why and what had caused him to die like this........ Haiz. R.I.P dear Xiao Mao. Thanks for those times you be with us.

My Nokia 5530 Xpress Music

2010-07-08T15:24:00.003+08:00

These are the random shots taken by my phone's camera..

Hey Is That A Fire?

2010-07-06T18:32:00.003+08:00

Oh No, it's a volcano eruption! BooOOOooM!!!

Every good man will also get angry once in a while right?
Yea me too! And so the volcano in me had just erupted a few hours ago due to some triggers..
But like volcano also, after the eruption, everything will subside and go under cooling period..

And here, I am a good mood Girl again =) cheerzZ

Vulgarity In Words

2010-07-06T01:53:00.004+08:00

So what now? Are you trying to impress everyone in this world that you have a bunch of knowledge about vulgar words in your mind?

Oh come on! Who cares? Will you get labeled as Doctor Vulgar if you speak those swear words so 'PROfessionally'?

I don't respect you and all of you who throw those bad words out from ya mouth because you don't earn those respects from me. No matter how knowledgeable you are, how smart you are, how rich you are, speaking those words ain't bring you an image of COOL. It is just ruining you, from the tip top of your personality. In the end what do you get? Oscar? Hahaha. Tell me if you really get that award.

Don't act as if you're very lofty, to me, you don't worth a penny. SWEAR WORDS? a pile of junks!